Guide for the B&B's (Brides and Bridesmaids)

Buckle up brides and bridesmaids..we are covering A LOT today and it's all about bridesmaids. As someone who has been a bridesmaid twice and has been a bride once (let's all hope it's once) and is witness to a lot of each on the daily in the boutique - I have seen all the ups and downs and have some tips/ideas/outlooks to make this whole thing a lot easier. Feel free to skip to whatever is relevant to you or stick along for the entire ride.

FOR THE BRIDE

PICKING THE PARTY

Let's be honest, picking bridesmaids and even the bridal party is god awful (for most). Having to pick between your best friends, friends, family, people you feel obliged to ask, colleagues, distant cousins, pets etc etc etc is such a hard task. Everyone feels important to us and we feel like we don't want to offend anyone or have anyone feel left out.  In short - pick who you are closest to, who you talk to the most and who you value the most to look after you in this time. If you have a large group of friends, or many group of friends - maybe just choose a "representative" of each - because let's face it, we can't afford 10 bridesmaids. Explain your reasoning to your friends and if they are good friends to you then they will just be happy. They can always help out with other parts of the wedding/hens etc.

WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING

As much fun as wedding dress shopping is, it does get old real quick if we are dragging these poor girls to shop after shop, weekend after weekend. I would highly recommend just taking your Maid of Honour but if you do want to include absolutely everyone (which is so fine) then just stick with one day or even just taking them to your shortlisted favourites to get their opinion. If they aren't there for the "yes" moment then this just makes for a cute "first look" photo opportunity. For me, I took my Maid of Honour dress shopping, 1 bridesmaid to the dress pick up, 1 to the final alterations (we will touch on this later) and one lived away so she got to have all of the photos which she was fine with - she was also my sister so that was fine. 

ALTERATIONS/BUSTLE

As mentioned, I took one of my bridesmaids to my final alterations appointment and god am I glad I did this! Not only did she get to see everything fitting beautifully and seeing me in my dress for the first time but she was able to be shown how to bustle my dress. My bustle was done with multiple snap clips placed around my train and then onto the back of my dress. If I didn't have someone there I would have had to try and explain this to probably 5 different people at my reception (who are probably drunk by this stage), be in the toilet for over half an hour and it may not even be done right. Have at least one person who knows how to do it and have a test run before you walk down that aisle.

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE

Biggest need out of your wedding day? For everything to run smoothly. How does everything run smoothly? When people know what they are supposed to be doing! For a lot of people, it's their first time being in a bridal party and it is so intimidating walking down that aisle with literally all eyes on you and then standing up at the front for the entire ceremony - I was sh**ting myself the first time. All I thought of on the way down was "don't trip, don't trip, soft smile, don't trip, bouquet at the hips, DON'T TRIP". Have a run through with the girlies the night before with the song and with heels on. Figure out the order you want them in and whether the first person down will be the farthest from you or the closest and then the order that they will walk back out in. Organise who will take your flowers and make sure they KNOW that they are doing this. I would recommend giving your bouquet to the person after the MOH so that they can then fan your train out if needed. But again, work this out prior to walking down the aisle and everything should be okay! And if things go wrong..there isn't much you can do and no one will even probably notice.

FOR THE BRIDESMAIDS

Okay girlies - I know what we are going through. We are excited for our bride but there is always that little bit of "oh god" feeling as we may see our best friend/sister turn into the craziest human being alive. And you know what? Just let her (to a certain extent). If she wants you to wear the ugliest dress that makes you feel like a silk covered Christmas ham...that is okay. If she wants you to have your hair up in a way that you would never ever do it, that is okay. At then end of the day, it's not about you and for one day we can put aside those little feelings and be there for our beautiful bride.

WEDDING DRESS

It absolutely breaks my heart (and has happened way too many times) when my bride is loving a gown and feels good and her MOH or bridesmaid shuts it down right away. Your opinions have so much influence over a bride and can really pave the way for how an appointment goes for her. I know that we as friends and family have our brides best interest at heart but it's really a time to read the room. If you can see in your brides face that she is loving a dress but you hate it - tell her that she looks happy in that dress but maybe try some more on to be sure. Point out what looks good - Maybe that her waist looks tiny in it, maybe her boobies look fantastic, maybe you like how the back of the dress is just not the whole thing. You are there for support, not as a fashion critique on Project Runway. Our end objective as a bridesmaid is for our bride to be happy!

PLANNING/EXPECTATIONS

Make sure to check in with your bride if there is anything she may want help with. If she doesn't want any help, try not to take offence - wedding planning is very personal and some people just want to do it by themselves. Make suggestions if they are asked for like hair/makeup, dresses, getting ready outfits etc. However, it is all well and good to talk on the group chat amongst the girlies but don't go to the bride and say "well as a group we all think..blah blah blah" (we all do it, I know) obviously unless it's asked for. The bride may pay for things for you to be in the bridal party such as the dress, the hair or the makeup BUT never expect it. I would say to just be prepared to pay for things just so that you are covered. If you are on a bit of a budget then make sure the bride knows - that way she can be mindful of this when planning everything - there is absolutely no shame in speaking up! Bring this up with the bride quite early on so that everyone can be prepared.

TIPS ON THE DAY OF

1. Someone needs to know how to bustle the dress

2. Someone needs to steam the brides dress/veil and bridesmaids outfits

3. Keep track of time and organise each other

4. Keep an eye on the brides dress during photos - Does it need to be fluffed out? Are there sticks in it?

5. If the wind is blowing the wrong way and the brides veil is going everywhere, place a toe on it to keep it in place

6. Someone pack a little bag of things the bride may need eg. Lippie, safety pin, wipes, tampons etc

7. Know who the bride needs photos with so that you can help round them up

8. We all have an in built need to get written off but maybe hold off until the reception to really get stuck in.

9. Practice your walk/pace!!

10. Be present and take photos. The bride will be so happy that you caught moments of her getting ready, you and the bridal party getting ready and even at the reception.